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♥ Wednesday, September 19, 2012 ♥

♥ Nightmare before.... ♥

Have you ever wonder why you are living a lousy life?  Or ever think that you life sucks?  Sometimes when things don't seems to be going smooth for me in life, i will always tend to wonder and think why my life sucks and why am i having such a hard life.  Did i do something wrong in my previous life or it's my  八字down on luck etc?

I can't seems to remember since when or how long have been wondering or having such thoughts nor how long have i been using my tears to comfort me when i feel terribly down.  Why can't my life be free from worries about money, academic results, job, food/shelter etc?  Why can't my life be like others have a good prospect & stable job with good income, able to pay for material things i like, go on vacation at least once every year etc?

Why can't i get good returns even no matter how much hard work i have put in?  There are times i question is/are there really GOD out there or it's just another made up bullshit trying to get people to stay focus?  If there is/are really GOD out there why isn't him or her giving any help to me?  Or is it because I'm not worthy to ask for any of his or her help?   There is a saying " GOD will help those who help themselves" but ain't i helping myself by staying alive and crossing every obstacles and hurdles in my path till now?

I'm really so sick and tired, when will my luck and life change for the better?  When will see light in the dark?  I have so many whens and whys that i will would to have answers for them.  Will my life be always so down and sucky?  I know if i think that I'm having a lousy, there are others worst than me but i just can't help not to think about my problems and be grateful for what i have even thou i have so much problems to face.  There are just too much burden and problems for me to handle.

Stress and worries are my best friends.  Honestly speaking i don't have much friends or people that i can really pour my heart out.  I always think and feels that even i do share my problems with them, what can they do to help me?  Or maybe i am just adding stress on them?  Blogging seems to be my only way to ease and rant all my unhappiness.  Here, i don't have to care and be bothered about anything i blog cause it's my blog.  People don't like to read about my problem it's not my concern.

Lastly, a music video to share as usual.  Hope i will really found love, money and luck that i have been yearning for so long.

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Mistress of Darkness! The Mistress
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